The Pain Relief Network

hi ! since there were no fourms up – or any posts –
i thought i was posting to the group – PAIN….
should i transfer my posts over here

i would like to know what happened that the network was essentially down
in december, when i joined? – and. what, if anything, i can do to help …

lorna thompson
doc52lorna

Hi, first post since I joined I think, I will try to make as short as possible. Obviously in 1994 and 1995 I was either young or not considered a ”worthless addict junkie” yet. I developed chronic ulcerative colitis in 1990 when I was only 19, I was lucky I stayed with my dad and stepmom when they moved near Champaign area, by luck the best colon specialist was at that hospital who was the best in Illinois at carle hospital. I would have to be in hospital for 2 weeks everytime I’d have a flareup. I moved back with my Mother in 93 and was in remission. I guess the stress etc of being used to being in Chicagoland again flared me up, finally after another flare up after our family visited my Mom’s friend way up in UP Michigan, I was so thirsty when we got to her trailer and drank outta tap water”bad mistake”, moms friend said, my septic tank is leaking into well water. OH GREAT, yes I took a sip and it smelled like it in the water. Well that killed my colon in the end. I ended up at two local hospitals who’s doctors had the worst bedside manner I ever knew. The one gave me a colonoscopy with No Demerol or sedative at all. I said what the *(&)(, doctor said I can’t give you anything for just this ”its addicting and you’re an alchoholic” I said SO WHAT, stop and I’m going to my specialist in Urbana, he said ”just imagine you are on a beach with a beautiful girl” I was so ticked that I made the dumb mistake of saying, ”why not say beautiful guy”, yea I am a gay man and I dont care what you think, he said whatever. I was in such pain when I got to my room that I refused to get up and walk around. Long story short, my Mom sent me to university of Chicago hospital ”at the forefront of medicine bull I thought” I was glad to be transferred to carle in Urbana and I’ve known my colon specialist since 90 and we’ve got to be friends and like same music and small talk before I see him. My colon was worst he ever saw. The day or so before my surgery, I was getting demerol shots every 3 hours because the pain was so bad all the time I couln’t sleep. I was down to 90# from 135#. Well I got addicted to morphine pump in only a week, ”I got addiction from Dad’s family the worst” not the docs fault, stage one was total colectomy with the awful bag. 6 months later I was lucky to wake up with bag gone and I had a ”j pouch” made out of some of my small intestines. All worked great until a year or so later when I went through a week of horror not able to go. I forgot my doc saying that if that ever happens, I would be one of the unlucky ones who has to have a rectal dialation with exam under anesthesia. THis was1999. We found where he had moved his practice and went there and he was shocked how bad it was, we stayed overnight and next morning the procedure was done. I was given a good script for vicodin generic, had stopped drinking and hated the smell of liquor even. I suffer from depression and personality disorder too. I realized the vicodin made me feel all cozy,secure and happy and energetic and full of life like never before in my life. I was like what is this? that’s when I became obsessed with opiates. Big mistake in the way that not only was I no longer into drinking but,everyone basically just treated me like ”just call me Burroughs”. My rage came in 2006 when on my Bday of all things I suddenly was vomiting and felt so sick I could not even hold water down, I went to the ER at the hospital I now hate. They had to open me up again and do liasions of adhesions(sp), removal of scar tissue had wrapped itself so tight around part of my intestine that nothing could get through. They even had to cut that part of intestine open to do whatever and sew it back up. I woke up suddenly as they were getting me down the hall and suddenly dry heaved and sudden acute pain. They just plopped me on the recovery room bed where this B887 of a nurse treated me like a worthless junkie. The surgeon came to me and I was shaking about to pass out in such pain. He said”I’ll give him a benzo, I said please” the stupid nurse who knew nothing said ”he can’t have that he’s on suboxone” I was in such pain I could barely talk, I said to this dumb nurse, you dont know anything, I’ve taken 5 10mg valium while on 24mg suboxone before and it made me calm and relaxed, I want something now before I fall open, I saw this bigger syringe in my iv and I’m not stupid I could see it said ”saline flush”, I said What am I getting? she said in a snotty voice”you dont need to know what you are getting, your’re getting something”, I wanted to punch her face in not only cuz she was sniffling like ”cocaine sniffles syndrome” every 10 seconds, but I was being descriminated against. The surgeon didn’t care, he did an x ray right there, he had nurses just plop me down on a hard x ray plate and took the x ray and plopped me back down after removing the board. I gave an evil look to the fat nurse I was so raged at when they took me to, my room upstairs, I just was lucky that one of my neighbors happened to be my nurse when I got put in my bed. I told her what went on and that I was going to look into sueing them. IT took 3 hours before I finally got only 2mg every 6mins of M at the push of the button, the M pump was small and way lame compared to the nice big one from urbana in 1995 with a huge syringe in it. I knew this hospital obviously was too wealthy to care about pain patients, rather more concerned about going by the book and the dea’s pathetic opioid dosing guidelines. I was still in pain so I got a 2mg M drip in my iv too. Finally I was comfortable enough to barely walk once around the hall to my room. My family doc who was also my subox doctor said how are you doing? I said how furious I was and he said, well you know you will just luckily get your pain under control since suboxone”bupe”/naloxone will take a while to overcome. I said then why wasn’t I put on just 2mg M when I was admitted. I think reason why is because I had already been in there weeks before the ER visit and the ct scan showed nothing and he thought I was trying to get high or something. Yet on my Birthday in er for same thing ”now acute intestinal pain but not even able to hold water down”. When I got home and was allowed 4 8mg suboxone for a week for pain, my suboxone doctor said ”that’s all I can do”, I can’t risk losing my license etc because you are addicted to opies. Then I saw the surgeon a few times and to take out my staples and said all is well I can go back to my hobbies, which involves heavy lifting alot. I was told I had a hernia in my groin area after he last examined me. I was like ok, you aren’t getting me ever in that hospital again, so we went to my specialist and he took good care of my pain but I didn’t get high, he made sure of that, because he wanted to protect himself too. At least that went well, I sadly have to admit though, that 5/500 vicodin no refills which my Mom hid and gave to me only one at a time. SO lucky I had norco 10/325’s hidden in my ”good times little brown bottle” from some source, I’d go in the bathroom at hotel and take 5 at once and took my pain away good, as welll as that sad, mild wd’s feeling. I had relapsed but didn’t care since I was so angry at the hospital that treated me so poorly.
I hope things will look up sooon for us pain patients and or addicts when they,us needs surgery and pain meds. That the dea will just say ”ok do what you want people the world is close to the end anyway lol” At least that’s how I feel, why not legalize opiates for adequate pain control and for rare people like me who respond to opioids so well for depression? they already have legalized weed in some states already, which sadly I dont like at all,yet hopefully a revolution is starting, even if it is just weed for now. I have a glimmer of hope after hearing about weed. But all I or we can do is hope.